Climate Change

As we bask in the sun's rays in mid-February, many of us are wondering if it's warm enough to sunbathe and exactly how much of our flabby, winter physique we wish to bare to the elements. By this time of year, most Caucasians who haven't spent two weeks Costa Rica have developed a complexion the colour of a corpse dragged from The Thames and a body shape with all the tone and firmness of raw sausage meat in a bin bag. But perhaps our thoughts should turn away from tanning to climate change, because the weather in the past decade as been increasingly odd. Moreover, the strangest development of all is that as the evidence for man-made climate change becomes ever more convincing, the number of people who believe that humans are changing the climate has fallen.

Witness then the publication of James Delingpole's new book Watermelons: The Green Movement's True Colours. I imagine he's terribly pleased with the title because the implication is that 'greens' are actually 'reds' on the inside. For those of you not in throes of Cold War style paranoia, the likes of Delingpole believe that Western civilisation is under assault from militant eco-socialists who hate freedom, the West and posh white men like James in particular. To serve their evil ends these 'eco-Nazis' have concocted global warming as a scam to enslave us in lesbian-run cycle-powered collective farms, where we must all pedal for our daily ration of tofu.

Now I'll share with you a little tip for spotting bullshit arguments, which is how quickly the person uses the words 'Hitler', 'Nazi' or 'slippery slope', because that's shorthand for saying I can't present any convincing logic arguments so I'll mention the greatest evil in human history next to the thing I don't approve of,  you are gullible and stupid, the two things are close together, you'll assume they are one and the same. So put 'eco' next to 'Nazi', job done.  I am actually making Delingpole's thinking sound a lot more coherent than it is; he writes frequently on the subject of climate change whilst admitting he has no scientific training nor does he have time to read peer-reviewed journals. It's the written equivalent of being cornered by a belligerent, drunken toff in the pub.

Instruments of oppression

Hardly a week goes by without a new piece of data pointing towards human-produced carbon dioxide warming the earth, acidifying the oceans and producing freak weather; yet less people believe in climate change than a decade ago. Now despite the best efforts of X-Factor and Britain's Got Talent,  I don't think the population has got noticeably stupider in the last ten years; cannabis consumption has stayed broadly stable so we can discount drug-induced psychosis and Britons only drink themselves senseless on the weekends. Yet an increased segment of the population think that climate change is a 'con', roughly forty percent at the last count.

This belief is so irrational and so delusional that to engage with its claims gives it a legitimacy they do not deserve. Explaining why witches do not exist gives the witch hunters false respectability. So in the case of Delingpole, engaging with him on the science is pointless as he will revert back to his magical thinking; you would be better discussing your favourite dunking ponds with the witch hunters. And  if you are in any doubt at all, ask yourself this question: is it even remotely plausible that the scientific community, together with the BBC  and our  political establishment would engage in a systematic intellectual fraud, the like of which has never been seen in human history and if discovered would lead to the destruction of their careers, reputations and the very institutions they serve, just so they can build wind turbines?

Bonkers isn't it? But why would a large number of people prefer to believe something patently absurd than engage with reality. I think the answer is that many would rather be consistent than correct; so  deniers cannot concede that pressure groups from the political left might be  right therefore climate change must be a fabrication. It is comforting, like all magical thinking, it is reassuring, but like magic, much as we would like it to be real is an illusion. Witches don't exist, they aren't fairies at the bottom of the garden and no matter how much you like Harry Potter there is no platform nine and three quarters (the novelty sign doesn't count.) So sadly, all of us, including the refuseniks, will have to deal with the reality of climate change. Still at least it's mild for this time of year!

Attractive woman + coal mine = coal is sexy, let's keep burning it